Many people have asked me “Why did you begin writing the ‘Life On Smars’ newsletter?” Many more have asked “Why do you continue writing ‘Life On Smars’?” And even more than that have asked “Aint that enough? Why don’t you stop writing ‘Life On Smars’?”
To these questions I reply “Well, for one thing, people might miss the clever wordplay like the title of this article.” The fact that I may be the only one who considers this title as “clever wordplay” never enters my head. Well, I guess “never” isn’t correct because I just typed that sentence so obviously it did enter my head…but that’s beside the point.
The real reason I continue this newsletter, and I’m not really sure if it can technically be called a “newsletter” because I just post stuff from my brain and not actual “news”, is that it provides me a creative outlet. You see, as far back as I can remember when someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I usually replied “I want to be a writer.”
To be sure, there were some variations in the answer to that question. Sometimes I answered that I wanted to be a musician or a football player or a fireman. There was a time when I answered that question by saying I wanted to be Godzilla. But that was during the normal childhood “giant mythological reptile” phase that most kids go through.
So, writing has always been a thing for me. I believe this came as a natural byproduct of reading, which came first and seems only natural. If you read a good story, I mean a really good story, you want to try and duplicate it. You want to create something just as good. Or maybe I was just a weird kid. That’s certainly a possibility. I was tested in the sixth grade and found to be reading on a first year college reading level. That’s pretty good! Now, if they could’ve just deducted my math and science scores I would’ve been considered a genius!
My earliest writing began, as I think it did with most kids, with the dreaded book report. The book report was the opportunity for a kid to demonstrate what he or she was able to comprehend from a particular book and communicate in written form the message received and feelings experienced while reading something fun yet educational like works from the Dr. Seuss oeuvre or more ponderous tomes like The Hardy Boys or Nancy Drew mysteries.
Those kids whose book reports sounded more like reproductions of the actual book probably grew up to be writers. Those kids who wrote book reports that were floridly opinionated probably grew up to be literary critics. I have absolutely no scientific research or data to back up this claim. That’s just another example of the priceless gems that come directly out of my brain. You’re welcome, America!
I continued to write as I grew up and my writing style seemed to change, depending on my age and what books I was reading at the time. In the fifth or sixth grade I read a lot of Jack London types of things and stories about dogs and horses. By junior high and high school, I was reading more science fiction and Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. and Ray Bradbury. I discovered Jack Kerouac and the Beat writers in my senior year of high school and first year of college. This was after I discovered and began listening to The Doors and reading Jim Morrison’s lyrics and poetry.
I was also playing guitar, and I started my first rock band with a couple friends of mine in junior high and by high school we were not too bad! It was originally all covers but I began writing lyrics. By the time I got to what I call “my Jim Morrison” phase I began to write “Morrison-esque” song lyrics. I even tried my hand at poetry. My poetry, when it didn’t sound like complete reproductions of Jim Morrison, was really very, very bad.
While pursuing my “rock star” career in my 20’s I focused most of my writing on songs. Short stories and the beginnings of novels were stowed away in old spiral notebooks and packed away. My early songwriting was admittedly not good. Okay, it was bad! But I kept at it, and I improved. The songwriting has a more immediate response time. When I finish it, I can sing and play it in front of an audience and get an immediate reaction. That immediate reaction is a little scary because you are never quite sure whether it will be a positive or negative reaction.
About 5 or 6 years ago my love for writing was reawakened. I began writing again. I began thinking of some of the syndicated weekly columnists I’d read in our local newspaper. I’d always enjoyed reading those columns when I was young but had never considered writing anything like that because well, I was young. What the hell did I know about life at that age? Now I’m older and while I still may not know that much about life, I at least have a wealth of experience to draw upon. Why not inflict that on others? Thus, “Life On Smars” was created.
Since I have no regulated schedule of when these articles will appear other than when an idea occurs to me, it doesn’t seem fair or correct to charge a subscription fee to read these stories, so joining the email list remains free of charge. However, I am thinking of creating a sort of serial novel in the future. Those chapters will be posted on “Life On Smars” but will require a paid subscription to read that week’s continuing chapter.
Why do I mention this? Well, I’m getting near retirement age. Wait! I need to emphasize that it’s early retirement! I’m not quite near my second childhood yet, although I have a feeling it will be a pretty smooth transition when it comes. My wife Michelle has seconded that emotion. So, earning a supplemental income in my retirement years by writing sounds very pleasing to me.
That’s it. That is the meaning of “Life On Smars”. And just to qualify this as a newsletter, here is some news. Well, “news” or “shameless self-promotion”. To me it’s the same thing, toMAYto or toMAHto…my alter ego, Blind Irish Dog, will be playing a few upcoming dates.
On Saturday, July 12 I’ll be playing, along with my buddy Bat, in Eagle, WI at the Red Roof Station. This is for the Wisconsin Scottish Org. clan gathering, which raises money for the Wisconsin Scottish Org. It’s a day of family fun with cultural exhibits, athletic demonstrations and instructions, food and music. I’ll be there from 7 to 9 pm, so if you’re in the area that day stop in and have some fun!
On Saturday, Aug. 2 I’ll be playing at The House of Guinness in Waukesha, WI. This is 1 of my favorite Irish pubs to play at or just hang out in. The owner and the staff are fun and friendly. Tell them Blind Irish Dog sent you. It won’t get you anything in return, it’s just fun to say. G’ahead, try it!
The Wisconsin Scottish Highland Games are on Labor Day weekend, Friday, Aug. 29 through Sunday, Aug. 31. I’ll be participating in the blind archery contest on Saturday, Aug. 30. Yes, that’s correct, I said “blind archery”, blind people shooting actual bows with actual pointy arrows! It’s not scary, it’s inspiring. Plus, spectators are kept at a safe distance behind the archers. I’ll also be playing as Blind Irish Dog on Sunday, Aug. 31 from 6:30 pm to 8:00 pm to close out the Wisconsin Scottish Highland Games for 2025! I leave you with the word “Slainte” (pronounced as “slon-cha”), which is the Gaelic word for “Cheers!”
Visit the Facebook link for the Wisconsin Scottish Clan Gathering on July 12, 2025 at:
https://www.facebook.com/share/1EBKWKbiwR/
Visit the website for House of Guinness in Waukesha, WI at:
https://houseofguinness.com/
For more info on the Wisconsin Scottish Highland Games, go to:
https://www.wisconsinscottish.org/
To see some of my videos performing as Blind Irish Dog visit my YouTube playlist at:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_yK7sxiMJGMnqGAnwjiM20h4AwLITtcI&si=4GXt2UMZW5f0SutI